Sounds crazy, right? But believe me, I know where you’re coming from. For more than half my life, I endured a 45-minute commute five torturous days a week on clogged highways and crammed public transit. By Friday afternoon, I fantasized about the wondrous weekend ahead. TGIF. For two blissful days, no alarm clock jarring me from my nightmare of looming deadlines, no packed roads or commuter trains, no boss surreptitiously leaving AARP literature on my desk. Oh yes. I get it. TGIF.
After 30+ years in local government, I bailed. Retired from that life-devouring abyss. I slept ‘til the noon’s early light. I lingered over the morning paper, sipping chai tea from my World’s Greatest Grandma mug. The biggest decision I had to make was whether my hair could go another day without a shampoo and rinse.
Weekdays floated along like a canoe drifting downstream. But when the weekends rolled around, all heck broke loose. Out the door before daybreak, I scrambled to get to the grandkids’ swim meets and soccer practice. Even my morning grocery trips turned into a free-for-all in the snack food aisle. And forget trying to reach a fellow granny to share a little innocent gossip over home baked muffins. My nana colleagues sprinted on their lifestyle hamster wheels, keeping up with family picnics, barbecues and T-Ball games.
Then one morning it hit me. Weekends interfered with my new stress-free lifestyle. I couldn’t wait until Monday.
6 Reasons Why I Love Monday
- Right off the top, you know that idyllic feeling of waking up on a holiday/vacation Monday, pulling the blanket over your head to block the sunrise, drifting off again for another few minutes of blissful slumber? That’s every week when you’re retired. Every. Week.
- Monday morning trips to Target/Whole Foods/CVS are a serene stroll up and down deserted aisles, the fresh scent of Febreze wafting through the forced air. That’s a far cry from the weekend grab fest for produce, paper goods and sale rack bargains, not to mention bulging carts lined up like tankers during a dock strike.
- For the next five glorious days in a row, I can relax with the ladies of The View while enjoying the Starbucks specialty brew latte I picked up on the way home after errands. No line. Think about that for a moment. Starbucks. No waiting.
- Monday’s mall parking lot is a fertile field of unoccupied spaces, begging to be inhabited. On the weekend it might as well be Walmart at midnight on Black Friday.
- The offspring with their brood of young ‘uns have all gone home. Don’t get me wrong, I love the little munchkins to the moon and back. Their sweet, sticky faces, their chubby, sticky fingers, that mysterious, sticky puddle that just materialized on the kitchen floor, I just can’t get enough of them. Until Sunday evening. Then, time to go. Hugs. Buh-bye. That’s me blowing kisses from the porch.
- No live athletic events. OK, I exaggerate. There’s always something on ESPN for the die hard fanatic. Here’s a quick rundown of the weekday offerings on sports channels:
- Fútbol Mexicano – Translation: soccer, with play-by-play en español
- PGA Golf – Yawn
- College Football Live – A rerun
- Simulcast of sports talk-radio – That’s right. A TV broadcast of a radio program.
There you have it. Why Mondays are awesome. So, go ahead with your TGIFing. I won’t judge. Just give me a Monday any day. I mean…well…you get the idea.