Tragedy at Target

female-detective-clip-art_fA friend and I agreed to meet for dinner last week at a strip mall near where she attends a Toastmasters group. Kudos for going all in on self-improvement. Stacey suggested we eat at the Italian restaurant in the mall. Recalling a disappointing dining experience there, I suggested we meet in the parking lot at 5:00, and caravan to a better bistro a couple miles away.

The textversation that evening went like this:

Stacey-How about 445 in target parking lot. Text me and I’ll honk.

Me-Yep that works!

I arrive early and text to see if she’s waiting.

Me-I’m here

No reply. It’s too hot to wait in the car, so I decide to loiter under a shady tree in front of the restaurant. I soon discover the flaw in the I’ll honk plan. Every car lock signals with a beep. I head toward each chirp, craning my neck like a flamingo caught in a wind storm.

Soon my phone pings.

Stacey-3 min

Me-K

Ignore chirps for next 3 mins

Stacey-Here. I’ll honk I’m right in fro t tragedy

Tragedy?! Medical emergency? Dead body stuffed in grocery cart? Finding no lights and sirens in the area, I assume her attempt to type Target got hijacked by autocorrect. But wait a minute. Target’s at the other end of the lot. How am I supposed to hear honking all the way over there? Besides, we agreed to meet at Pasty Pasta. I start toward Target, then no. I’m on foot, she’s in her car. Plus she was the one who changed the plan. I text her my coordinates.

Me-I’m in front of Pasty.

Stacey-I’m at back parki car. Drive at end of target parking lot user me

I need an enigma machine to decipher her coded message.

Me-Where?

At this point, I’m feeling faint from the heat and hiking back and forth across the parking lot. Just. Need. Food.

Me -Let’s eat at Pasty. It’s not that bad.

Stacey-Ok

Me-I’ll meet you there.

Which is where I’ve been the entire time.

While waiting, I get to thinking, maybe once she masters, uh, toast, she’ll be hungry for more self-improvement. I Google Textmasters.

Vow to exclude her should I ever become involved in any spy missions.

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Tragedy at Target

  1. Kristen

    It’s a wonder you two connected at all! I’m afraid to ask how you got home… Cute story!

  2. It is a mystery! Thanks for your comment!

  3. I think I’ve been misrepresented. My text was actually much worse! You find the funny in all situations.

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